Do What I Say Says This Awful Culture

poking at the false truth of this totally skewed culture & rejecting the script

Michigan UP | Credit Cindi ShardsAndWords

"People are not supposed to buy things they like, they’re supposed to buy things that represent their function in this society." ~ @dougweaverart

This quote from @dougweaverart over on IG, while globally about consumerism, pokes at the truth about us as humans and is in a way, an adjacent piece of my constant denunciation of the cultural training of women. In this post, it is applied to both men and women, specifically our adult children who choose to estrange from us.

The incessant pressure by this culture to conform to social roles, even when those roles are unfulfilling, damaging or disconnected from our personal growth, is in my opinion, deeply damaging.

dougweaverart

A post shared by @dougweaverart

This culture restricts us so we function in ways that support a larger, deeply flawed system sometimes at the cost of our choices, needs and well-being. It is profound when I connect it to our adult children choosing to estrange themselves from us parents because this culture holds the ideal of family as sacred. Our kids are expected to be loyal to us parents, obedient even. Forgive, forget, maintain contact out of some archaic and frankly toxic sense of duty. Remain the devoted child at every personal expense. And to a degree, it helped me explain to myself why I wanted to be distant from my family of origin, but could not in the state of immaturity I remained in until my 50s. Oof.

Our children face many similar judgements we do. When people haven’t experienced things in their lives like domestic violence, neglect, and shunning the idea of disconnecting completely from parents is a hard concept to understand. People will ask us what we did. They may ask our kids that same question. They may offer up the common go to “but they’re your parents” with complete care but utter misunderstanding.